my failure log for 2025
my failure log for 2025
Previously: [ (2022) | (2023) | (2024) ]
Here are a list of my personal failures in 2025 in no particular order.
I sense that this year I grew too attached to my routines, my things, and my way of doings. I wonder if this is a byproduct of getting older. But I felt less "free" if I'm honest. It might again have been a coping strategy. Or perhaps I have started to value my time more vs. always trying to appease others which is why this feels wrong in a way.
I socialised less. It was a year of keeping to myself more, avoiding big crowds, being less outwardly friendly, smiley, and welcoming. This wasn't antisocial I don't think. It was more a coping strategy I feel. Again, only a few instances that I regret but perhaps some were a way to be more comfortable with myself.
I autopiloted (less than last year though). This happens every year for me. After a certain point, I figure out a way to carry on with my day to day life, my work, my hobbies, interests, and passions and then it all feels like a blur. I suspect this is related to underlying feeling of being overwhelmed.
3a. This often presents itself with breakdowns of structure and order. Should I have maintained my documents and paperwork better this year? Yes. Should I have done more to clean, dust, upkeep my things? Yes. Did I know I should be doing them? Also yes but I chose to let them entropise. This also presented itself in being too "go with the flow" on important life decisions like home ownership, growth opportunities, community work, and so on.
I continue to do too much. This appears to not change year on year. I do think I said no to a lot more things this year. But this isn't about
fomoany more. My hypothesis is that I have become quite good at finding stuff to do and see and get involved in. This has formed a way to fill out my days and headspace so I don't have to think about more critical things. A strange procrastination in a way. The things I fill my life out are still fulfilling - but are they just a way for me to continue streaming life? I will need to think more about this.I was too fearful of failing. Let's just say I may have attached to the idea of not trying = not failing too much. This also means I don't win.
I was overly self conscious sometimes. This is something that has plagued me for years. I care too much what others think. In 2025, I'm the best version of myself that I have been in just doing my own thing. But these thoughts of the intense (imagined) gaze of others still latches onto me sometimes.
See you in 2026.
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