darsh's life

week 23 notes (2026)

Here are some things I did between 2026-06-01 to 2026-06-07 and some words about them.

This week has been really difficult for me. It was still filled with activities, socialising, creativity, trying to stick with routines. But in the background was the most intense anxiety that I could not control this time. I lived with it and thankfully was not too destructive with it. I'm hoping recalling back some of the things that happened in this week will help me realise that whilst I was suffering, I did manage to have meaningful experiences as well (though some may think these are escapes).

whispers in the woods

I invited M to this film. They have gone through a tough time and it's always nice to catch up with friends and share meal afterwards. I had a spare ticket since I had planned to watch this together with H but it didn't work out :(

I was so moved by this documentary. It was a combination of wonder, joy, the gift of consciousness to be able to receive and appreciate the beauty that's around us. And on the other hand the disappointment, grief, and a sense of immense loss at seeing it all eventually destroyed by us.

My favourite parts were the descriptions of how saplings were growing on their ancestors, that in nature, there is this cycle that we are also a deep part of. And that last quote that I can't quite remember any more but something along that lines of: we exist as things go on. I also teared up at the moment where we see the capercaillie towards the end of the film knowing that these might not be around for so much longer. A very emotional moment.

The audience laughing at the moments with the owl chicks, the lynx close up, and Simon being a kid was super cute.

A French person behind me did comment that the title of the film should have been translated to "Songs in the Woods" which I like more to be honest.

I felt really sad from the yearning of being closer to nature towards the end - even though the beauty of this film really struck me. I love when we feel two conflicting things at once.

kae takahashi, entundra

Fighting anxiety and severe unease with abrasion, friction, discomfort, and challenge might seem counter-intuitive. But this works for me. Even if it is temporary. I wrenched my emotions into the medium of sound that embodied pain, the ethereal, the uplifting, and then the raw screaming pain.

I took photos at this gig and I plan to make a post with some poems associated with each photo if I get a chance.

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rowena wise, sneaking in a hug

Another very depressed and dejected day. Battling things internally about feeling disconnected, feeling abandoned, and not being able to manage or make sense of these feelings and take full responsibility.

I sneaked a hug with H to help with these feelings as there was a very short window where we could see each other. It was cute, but my head and heart still feel heavy. I then walked to Darlinghurst to meet L for dinner and then taking in the beautiful songwriting of both Beryl and Rowena Wise. My heart didn't heal here, but it felt like I was around people with hurting hearts as well. Of unrequited yearning and desire, and ultimately of realisations of the limitations we all have.

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lost lands

I think only such a painful subject matter of human suffering, forgotten voices, unshared grief, can co-exist with how beautifully this film was shot. The dichotomy is needed here as my heart could not have held the pain portrayed in this film without it.

I feel like I have followed the traumatic journey with them and can in reality I'm only barely fathoming the pain, betrayal, and loss. And most of all, the disregard of their humanity by the wider world. The sound of life around me feels less dim tonight.

I exited the cinema truly saddened. My anxiety worsened. I wanted to cry my entire being out. But I was not able to, I felt frozen in the shock of the human suffering that is possible.

silent friend

I truly needed this film in my life. It single handedly brought me back to myself and made me feel comforted.

I felt very human and at ease watching this film. Slices of life play out in seemingly in the foreground, but the character that is holding it all together is the ginkgo tree in the background.

It's strange, all the films I have seen so far at SFF 2026 have had a tree as one of their motifs.

My favourite little detail was seeing the plants listed in the credits. A small touch that further embodied what this film was all about - thinking about how the natural world is not only ours to reflect upon. We are merely participants in this collective hallucination.

I also thoroughly connected with this review.

(ΞΌ_ΞΌ)

#weeknote